Letters to the newspaper: ‘name supplied’

There’s no excuse

I am the son of a firearms-related domestic violence murderer. Murder is murder. It’s a choice that a man makes to end the lives of others. It is not about the ”strain” they have to deal with or anything else, for that matter. It’s about a vulgar sense of ownership. Some men feel like their family belongs to them and therefore the man feels entitled to end the lives of those they love if they can’t get what they want. The judge who sentenced my father in May this year made this point: ”You say you still love your wife, but you love her as a piece of property and were prepared to destroy that property so no one else could have it.” I can only say that as the son of a murderer, this is really important for people to understand. Not all men are like this, like myself and my brother who are both loving fathers and are not ”like him”. Men need to share this, because this type of thinking in our communities, in our families, does not get the attention it deserves. Things have to change and journalists need to report on these issues with the emphasis on premeditated murder, not as an unfortunate set of circumstances. There are some of my family members who feel distressed and confused about this issue. This is all part of the ripple effect of domestic violence murders. However, I can’t keep this indoors any more, nor should any of us.

Name supplied, Brunswick West

Forever fearful

As a victim of sexual abuse by my father, at the age of 13, I don’t know the answer to the problem of ”child sex abuse level ‘horrific’ ” (13/9). I loved and feared my father but feel he couldn’t help his problems. I still believe that there should be more help for people who have these problems. I don’t believe they are born evil. With my father, he seemed to change when he drank. I never told my mother as I felt she had enough problems living with an alcoholic and sometimes violent husband. I never forgot it and the fear has remained with me all my life. However, I wonder if now children can speak up. The consequences are so bad, the family will be broken and what will happen to the perpetrator of the crime, your own father?

Name and address supplied The Age, 14 September 2014

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